Ep 6 - Capacity vs Choice Transcript Welcome to Alchemy Pie. On today's episode, we're going to go into the topic of capacity verse choice. Yeah, I love this topic. Let's dive into it. So, this is a page in the soil consciousness book that Derek wrote. And I think this is a brilliant topic, but I'd love you to share from your perspective what capacity versus choice means to you and then we'll dive deeper on that. Yeah, it's sort of like you have you have two options. Um and and those options are the capacity and whichever door you go into is the choice. And so the choice is what really matters and often I feel there's a restriction on the capacity in order to get the desired choice. Say more on that. Yeah, I think that there is um in in systems of control um in order to guide people into the choices that you want them to, you would limit the capacity of the limit the options you do you want this or this, you know. Uh and I think that when there's more of a trusting environment, you have a lot more capacity in so a lot more options and thus the responsibility is then elevated into the choices that you make. Yeah, I love that. Could you give us an example where capacity and choice is used in a really healthy way and then also an example maybe of where capacity and choice historically has been used in a really controlling way? Well, I'd say a healthy way of looking at capacity versus choice is when I was performing in the band, we would often not have a set list, which meant we had the capacity to play any song. And it gave such freedom to actually align with the energy of the room and trust and in from an intuitive uh decision-m you know choice rather than creating a fixed set list that um you then have to just make a plan without really considering what the audience is feeling and what your intuition is is telling you. So I always preferred not having a set list so that I could be in communication with um with the audience. So I I think that was a really healthy way of um trusting the capacity. Mhm. Um ultimately the responsibility of making choices uh with all that capacity. Yeah. Um, and I and I think an unhealthy way is censorship. Um, like really censoring Mhm. You know, I think historically the censoring speech or censoring things that uh don't it's sort of tough because there's like a lot of stuff that like hey like that's not really good for the psyche and it's not good for the consciousness of of society. And yet um I do think that ultimately we should have those things open so that um people can choose what they want to watch and what they want to consume, what they want to listen to, what whatever that be, read. Yeah. Like a freedom of of speech really. Yeah. Yeah. because once you start to limit it, then you're you're limiting the capacity for a desired choice to be made or an outcome. The way I see it is also like the the rebel archetype. So, you know, say you see this often in America versus Europe where kids have the opportunity to sometimes drink alcohol a lot younger and there's a freedom there. And so because they have that freedom and there's no rule against it, then oftentimes they make a choice to either drink moderate amounts or not drink at all because they don't have to sneak away to go drink alcohol. Whereas in America where there's so much so many laws around it, you know, so many young kids are drinking alcohol out of a rebellious nature because they're not allowed to. Yeah. And so sometimes when we put too many rules around things and too much control around things, then there's a part of the self that that can want to rebel and kind of break those systems open. Versus when you create more trust and you trust someone and you trust you know your children and you trust your employees and you create this environment of trust not based on delusion but based on presence and curating a culture then I agree that people are more likely to choose things that are in alignment and in resonance and in you know loving. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think when there's control, there's a lot of fear. Yeah. And so the rebellion to the control is fear as well. Yeah. And so they're just going though it may look opposite, it's actually exactly the same energy. It's from the same energy. It's it's the come from tune in to episode three for that one. Yeah. And where I see capacity as choice is very powerful is I think we have capacity as far as our external choices but we also have capacity as far as our internal way of being. So in any moment you have the capacity to do you know hundred different things and in that same moment you have the capacity to be a hundred different ways of being. You have a choice to go do those external things and you also have a choice in how you're going to to show up. Yeah. So, you could choose in any moment to be kind, to be loving, to be open-minded, to or you could choose to be bitter, and to be mean, and to be resentful, and and that's an internal choice. Yeah. And you know sometimes you have to do a little bit of deeper work to be able to release that internal part that's you know facing those densities. However, ultimately it's it's a choice of how we show up to each moment as well as a choice in what we do with each moment. And I love this topic so much because in a culture and in a world where we have like what feels like infinite options in any moment, you can watch almost anything online. You can do so many different things in every moment. When we have that selfbuilt trust with ourselves, then I feel like we end up choosing things that are are good for us or harmonious with our heart and harmonious with our our soul. And sometimes a part of that process though is having the capacity to do things that aren't harmonious with the heart and soul and discover what is. Yeah. And so there's no judgment in that process of discovery cuz it's just life unfolding in itself. But at the same time when that deeper knowing of like I could do something really good right now, I could also do something really hurtful right now. And then there's the option within to be like, who do I want to be? You know, who do I want to be? Like I would say this even for people in their like teens and 20s. There's so much culture and rhetoric out there around like, you know, now's the time to go like screw it up and like do all these like reckless things and like you can. And I advocate for exploring and like discovering who you are and like finding things out. But at the same time, if I were to talk to a 20-year-old version of myself now, I would say like you can go explore all the things you want and need to explore, but also know that right now, who do you want to be? And what stories do you want to tell your grandchildren about what you're choosing in each moment and what you're doing in each moment? And I think if we're in that awareness of we have all these choices and we have this capacity, we also have the opportunity to refine and go like who do we want to be in this life and then refine it again and again and again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the refinement of the choices that we make. And I think the choices that we make over and over again is is who we are. Mhm. Um and who we're being. It's who we're being. Maybe not who we are, but it's who we're being, you know, and and that essentially is our character. Mhm. And it's interesting when we when we limit the capacity uh often it's limited for us you know in in education systems and governmental systems and like uh there's a there's a constriction on the capacity because there's a fear that if people knew how amazingly powerful they are that they might not make the right choice. Um, yeah. Or they might not buy products or they might not be as easy to get to consume the thing that they want them to consume or like, you know, but I I truly believe the opposite. Yeah. as well. Like when there's more capacity and more space to just be one's natural self, then everything will will flow. There'll be people creating products that need natural consumption, and we won't have to so much contrive and manipulate people in order to buy our product or in order to do the thing we think we need them to do to get the result we want. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. I think back to when I was a teenager in high school and I had a lot of freedom. I had a lot of freedom and um you know ultimately I had a lot of capacity to sort of do whatever I wanted with the time that I had. Yeah. Um I didn't make the best choices but at the same time I appreciated having that freedom to choose. Um and you know I think ultimately just I sometimes when there's too much limitation on the capacity then you make really you know uh rebellious choices. Yeah. Uh and so thankful a lot of the choices I made weren't in that energy. A lot were too. It was a lot of rebellion as well. Yeah. Yeah. because there was that freedom and that trust, but the rebellion isn't freedom. And I think that's that's where the nuance of this um can be is um you know, when you're rebelling against something in fear, uh the the control is coming from fear, the rebellion is coming from fear. Yeah. And you're moving in opposite directions in the same energy. Mhm. And so you have a point over here, a point over here, and then above that is coming from a different energy which is above the line, which is love. Yeah. And and the rebellion only happens because one doesn't believe that they're already free. Mhm. And in that remembrance there's also the external giving power away of like who's in charge of my capacity and then the internal remembrance of ultimately you know you have the capacity within you to be a sovereign being regardless of what any rules someone puts upon you externally. that you always have capacity to find that sovereignty in your internal world no matter what external structure you're living within. And so to anyone who's maybe in a situation that's controlling or feels like your capacity is being really limited, I invite forward an opportunity to find the internal sovereignty, the internal freedom, the internal place that has freedom and choice no matter what's going on externally. And from that place of knowing and connection, cuz I believe that's just connection, then may the choices you make externally support you in in showing up and and having more freedom externally as well. Yeah. Oh, you know, I think it shows up in our language, too. When we say we can't do something. Yeah. Oh, I can't do that. I can't do this. Uh I like to say, I can do anything I want. I just don't want to do that. Mhm. Um and it's a much more empowered position to be in than limiting yourself and telling yourself because yourself is listening. Yeah. That I can't I can't do this, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I I can't. Yeah. Exactly. Like I'm choosing not to. Like of course I have the capacity to, but I'm making the choice not to, which is like so empowering. And then you realize like the kind of person you are because you're like, "Wow, I could choose to do all these things right now, positive and negative." And then the more you choose naturally the things that are true for you to your heart and to your soul, the more you show yourself the person that you are or who you're you're choosing to be in this life. And and then from there, I feel like one builds a really strong sense of trust with self. And then from there I feel like one built a really strong integrity with self. It's like wow like I've again and again shown up and chosen to be the person I want to be to show up in my life the way I I want to show up. And so now I feel like I have a really strong integrity. Feel like I have a really strong core, a really strong sense of self. And you can also get there by doing the opposite. So even if you show up again and again and do things that feel like they're going against who you want to be, then you always have the opportunity to 180 that and to catapult into a version of you of who you do want to be. So it's like no matter what you've chosen up until this point based on your capacity, you have the opportunity to choose something new and become an upgraded version. in every single moment. Yeah, I love that there's redemption for even the the darkest places and people in the world. Um, yeah, you know, it's like we limit ourselves so much on trivial things like I can't go eat ice cream. You know, it's like, well, you're weighing the options and you're saying that, you know, if I eat ice cream, it's unhealthy. If I don't eat ice cream, I'm being more healthy. So, I'm choosing to be more healthy. And just by narrating it in a way that's empowering um has so much more of an effect on your life and how you tell your story of who you are and what you're doing is you're doing things for your benefit because you want to do them. Uh rather than I can't do that. Oh, I can't go. I can't. You know, I can't I can't I'm just a little bug, right? you know, don't put yourself in a in a in a spot where um you're disempowering yourself, you know, just I could do anything I want. I'm choosing not to do it. Yeah. Exactly. you can you can do anything in any moment and and in that there's such a a freedom always cuz you know you have this capacity of being and then then as you refine yourself it's like I feel like at least in my journey it's like you know I feel like I explored a 100 different versions of reality in my 20s like all these different characters and and now it's like I feel Like because I explored so much, I've found what I really really value and I found what I really really care about. So now it's like if something doesn't align with my values and who I know I want to be in this world, then like it makes choosing very easy. Yeah. Because I've spent a lot of time learning what's not for me. And so now when I feel something that's in resonance, it's so clear. Whereas in the past it took a lot of exploration to get there. And so like wherever you on your on your journey is perfect and try things. You know, if you're if you have a choice of a job and you're not sure of what to do and what job to take, you know, try the one that lights you up just a little bit more than the other ones and then see what happens. See where that leads you. But know that like just because you make that one choice, you're not like you always have the capacity to evolve and realign yourself to a deeper and deeper version. And again, the more that I've done that within my own life, the more now I feel like so clear on like what's yes and what's true to my heart and soul and what's not. And had I not explored both realms, maybe I wouldn't be so clear in that. But now it's like, you know, such a gift. And and I don't think you have to go explore everything to find that. I think it's already within you in your heart. And I think some of that is also the narrative that we tell our young people of just like try everything. And well, there's a lot of beauty in that. There's also a lot of beauty in you already know what's in your heart now. So like you can truly align to what's true in your heart and in your soul right now. And if something's not right, trust it. If something is expanding your heart and it's making you scared, but it's expanding your heart, go for it. and like follow those pings because because you have the capacity to do what you love on this planet and you have the capacity to be the person you'd like to be and refine that again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again as I know I sure am again and again and again and yeah so how do you expand understand your capacity and how do you make choices? Oo, that's a great question. So for me the way I expand my capacity is one accepting all of the parts of myself. accepting my fullness of being, accepting my lightness, accepting my shadow, and just coming into like full acceptance of my whole being and expanding like letting myself know that I'm expanding into a truer and truer version of myself in every moment. So the way that I'm choosing to expand my capacity already has choice in it, if that makes sense. So like my choice to expand my capacity is to become the fullest expression of myself and of my soul and like how much positivity can I bring to this planet and to this life and like what does that fullness look like? And so that's where I'm most excited to continue expanding my capacity at this moment. and anything that's not that I'm not really excited by anymore. Um, and so in that expansion of self, then I have the choice again and again and again to, you know, refine what I'm choosing and how I'm choosing. And that's what I'm asking. How how do you choose? How do I choose? So, I always feel to make a choice. The first thing I like to do is to get really still. So to cut out all the noise and to cut out all the research and just to get really still with myself and then once I get really still with myself, I'll feel the different options in my heart. Like I'll be like, "Okay, what does this option feel like in my heart?" Okay, option A, I'm noticing I feel like expanded. I feel more light. I feel more connected. Okay, that's what option A feels like. Okay, option B, oh my gosh, my stomach drops. something feels off about option B. Okay, got it. And then option C is maybe somewhere in the middle. And so I'll feel the different options and I'll feel like the energetic line behind each option. And then I'll find the one that's usually the most resonant. It's not always the one that's like makes me the most high or makes me the most low. I usually find the heart ones are more of a centered feeling. M there's more of like a like there's an excitement and a light there but it's not like yeah or it's not like really intense. It's like yeah like of course just kind of opens up centered natural opening. And I think in a culture where we're so trained to chase dopamine addiction or fear it it can confuse us in going like oh if it's not super high dopamine addiction I shouldn't go for it. But that's often the thing that's gonna make you crash later. And so for me, I've found on my journey that following a very centered heart space is when I usually move into the most alignment and resonance and harmony rather than if I'm moving from fear or moving from like um an extreme high, if that makes sense. Mhm. And yeah, so that's how I like to make choices in in every moment. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Or I just follow where the light's bringing me, you know, like, oh, want to go for a walk? I want to drink water. Like there's just a a light that moves through that sometimes is beyond thought as well. Would you say that's your intuition? I'd say that's my intuition. Yeah. That just comes in and and guides. Yeah. And then the mind, if I'm not following my intuition, that's usually when like distraction kicks in or my intuition is like go here. And then my mind or distraction like goes to my phone and like totally forgets the the intuition for a moment. And you kind of have to like get back on track and and go, okay, I see that mechanism. I love you. And like let's get back on track. What's really here? What's really alive in this moment? like what's really alive in this moment to create to step into. And and sometimes like you can feel different choices even in like what you're going to eat at a restaurant if you follow like the energy line down the like vibration of how that's going to make you feel and then what choices you're going to make based on how you feel. Wow. Or like you know like little micro choices um have a whole energy line connected to them. And you know, sometimes I like to more consciously really be aware of like those energy lines cuz they have a they have a ripple effect. It's amazing how much that um way of making decisions or considering decisions, exploring capacity has affected. I mean, you've you've had a real um effect on the way I make decisions now, whereas before, you know, I probably would have just asked the smartest people I know, you know, it'd be a very logical thing. It was like, well, this is a smart person. This person has experience with this, so I'm just going to ask them. And because I don't know, you know, there was this there was a self-worth limitation on my capacity. Yeah. that now I feel I've come full circle because you know it's not a bad idea to ask people who have been there before. It's a great idea actually. U but sometimes they don't know. And so when you're not considering what you do know and you're doubting your knowing, you're doubting trusting what is innately within you. um then that then you have a problem um with with worthiness uh because you're doubting yourself for no reason. At the same time, if you're only checking in with yourself and you're not checking in with with those around you, you're not in communication with with the world. Yeah. And so, um, you might have to learn lessons that are easily avoidable by people who have walked that road. Yep. And have, you know, made those mistakes and have learned from them. And you're free to you're free to do it. You know, it just you might save yourself a little bit of time by checking in with both. You might save yourself a lot of bit of time. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So it it's it's it's good to have both and I think that's expanding the capacity is to check in with ultimately yourself first um and last. Yeah. But also to you know be able to like ask phone a friend. Phone as many friends as you want or advisors or people who you feel like have a grasp on the thing you want to make a decision on. But then to keep your sovereignty intact, that's it. Dis like let go of everything they told you and truly find it from within yourself because their path maybe was a completely different path. It was theirs and your path is going to look a little bit different. But if you can learn and I feel like we we do this generation by generation, we learn from the generations above us and we get to go, okay, they made that choice. I liked that choice or actually I didn't like that choice and now what do I want to choose now who do I want to be based on what I've observed. Yeah. I I' I'm never worried about asking people for advice, you know. Um I see advice shopping like thrift store shopping. Yeah. you know, I can go into a store and there could be something I want and I can go into another store and there's nothing I want. Mhm. Uh but it didn't, you know, other than taking a little bit of time, um it didn't really, you know, and then if you keep going to a store where you want nothing, maybe stop going into that store looking for something you want. Yes. Exactly. Learning. So, learning where the good stuff is, you know, with people. Yeah. uh and who who you want to ask for things uh based on what what you might be going through. Um but always in like rooted in the sovereignty of that like ultimately I'm going to make this decision and and whatever that is and checking in with your heart to take that a little bit deeper. I find like you know logically you could ask a hundred different people for advice but like intuitively there might be three that your heart is really resonating with that it's like okay ask and I remember in moments of my life I've had so many different mentors and teachers and there comes a point sometimes where you know I've like felt complete with that particular mentor and so instead of just going back and asking that mentor that I've learned so much from but I feel complete with. Then I've found it helpful to actually be able to let go of going to someone I used to go to all the time for advice and like expand my capacity by not creating a unconscious codependency with asking someone. M um and so in that there's I find what's really helpful is like a discernment to even feel into yourself and where you're asking or why you're asking that person, right? The come from. What's the come from? Is it from fear? Is it from love? Is it from curiosity? Because if you're asking someone an advice, sometimes you'll have a choice to expand in life. You might get a new job opportunity, opportunity to move cities, to be in a new relationship, you know, to expand your reality. And you could ask someone who might just assert your own fears back to you. Or you could ask someone who might offer a more expanded perspective, right? And then your opportunity is to get to filter through the difference because you have fears within you. So you may very well manifest someone who just reflects back your own fears. You also may very well manifest someone who reflects back possibility. And you may reflect back someone who doesn't tell you at all what you need to do, but it's then your opportunity to go, okay, I know what I know what's right here. Yeah. And then ultimately, whatever choice you do make, it's just the choice you made. Yeah. And then you, you know, you go from there. You're going to make another choice again and again. You make another one. Yeah. Yeah. But there is an intelligence in something you've really brought deeper into my own awareness in the remembrance of like oh yeah like we have the capacity to be both positive and negative. And like maybe we can see someone is super manipulative in our life because we have the capacity to be that manipulative. But we may have the capacity to be super manipulative, but we also have the choice not to, right? And so it's like, yeah, you spot it, you got it. But that might be you're spotting something you have the capacity to do. Doesn't mean you're spotting something what you're choosing to do. And so sometimes and and it's helpful to remember like, wow, I I also have the capacity to do something negative. Yeah. and I get to choose not to and I have the capacity to do something positive and to learn and to grow and yeah there's there's something that's helpful in remembering that we also we have the capacity to to do negative things too. Yeah. And I think that's part of expanding your capacity because if you stay solely in the light Mhm. Um that's great because you'll always make light decisions, right? Totally. Totally. Uh but you won't see when somebody is taking advantage of the blind spot, which is that you're not seeing both sides. You're not Yep. And um there's there's sort of um and I think that's where the fear is is that like don't learn anything about you know any sort of behavior that's not um good per se, you know, cuz then you're dividing the world into good and evil and you're saying I'm not going to do anything evil. I'm not even going to think those thoughts. I'm not going to know what that is. I don't want to know it. Yeah. Um and yet I think there's a lot of that happening which is leading to a denial of what is actually happening in the world. AB: Absolutely. Because we're not wanting to look at the negative and there's Yeah. There's so much emphasis on being positive, which I agree is ultimately where we want to get to, but not from a place of denying what's negative and what's harmful and what's happening. Because there's a lot of things that are happening under the surface of our society that if we just write them off and don't look at them, then we actually are creating from an illusion anyway because we're not actually looking what's, you know, what's under the rug, what's what's happening. Yeah, you know, well speaking to that is like you know the capacity and to expand your capacity like for example with the tree of transformation it's like you can look at such a deeper level of of it rather than if your capacity is limited to evaluating the results of a situation then you're always going to be comparing apples to oranges as opposed to looking at the soil that grew those trees in the first place. Yeah. Or the branches that got tangled and ended up, you know, blocking the flow of energy in the tree and so the fruit ended up that way. And you know what I mean? Like there's so many different um levels of it. And often we take what is happening like the news or whatever is like served up as the result as the only thing to to dissect. Yeah. And we're looking at the symptom versus the the root cause. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And if we're looking at the symptom of something negative happening and we're trying to change the symptom versus like going to the to the underbelly of like, wow, there's war, there's negative things, there's control happening on the planet. But then like let's look at our TV consumption. Well, what are we putting into our minds? What's the soil of what we're feeding ourselves? This has a lot of war. It has a lot of violence. It has a lot of the things that we're also complaining about in our world. So like okay let's look at that. Let's acknowledge let's acknowledge it. Yeah. And then from there recognize our capacity to engage with it and then our capa and then our our choice and like now what do we want to do now that we're seeing what's happening now that we're aware and self-aware. And so what I love about the tree of transformation, you can look at our tree of transformation episode, but what I love about it is it's an opportunity to become self-aware of your whole self, of your whole tree, metaphorically speaking. And when you become self-aware of your whole tree, then I feel like you have the capacity to expand your capacity and the awareness to choose differently. Yeah. Yeah, it's putting yourself into a a high trust environment because often I think we don't look underneath the surface cuz we're scared of what might be there. And you know, ultimately we have to trust ourselves enough to take a look. And when we have that awareness, then we have the responsibility that leads to the choices we make. And M um that's just capacity and choice, you know. I think it's it's such a great nuance in every moment. Like if we leave you with anything on capacity versus choice is like in every moment. recognize your capacity to do anything that you want, to be anything that you want, and then your choice to do those things or to be those things. And you have an incredible capacity just by the fact that you're alive and that you exist. And you also have the incredible opportunity to get to choose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, if you have any questions on capacity versus choice, uh, please feel free to reach out. Yeah. To, you know, on alchemy pot.com, write a note in the section for questions for the podcast and we'd love to go deeper. We'd love to have a good discussion about this topic, you know, hear what you have to say. Yeah. Thanks for being here. Yeah. Welcome to Alchemy Pot. This is a journey of transformation. Explore the outer consciousness for expression.