Welcome & meditation Welcome to alchemy pot. This is a journey of transformation. Explore the outer consciousness for expression. [Music] Hello and welcome to Alchemy Pot. This is episode 4 and today we are going to be talking about the tree of transformation. A wonderful tool that can help any aspect of your life get more clarity and awareness at the different layers of any sort of situation or person or um company or whatever it is. It's a it's a really beautiful metaphorical tool. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Would you like to drop us in and the meditation? Let's drop in. And as always, this is going to be a short meditation. If you're driving, keep your eyes open. And if not, I invite you to take a moment and close your eyes and just connect in with yourself. And as you connect in with yourself, I want you to just breathe into all of your cells and give yourself permission to fully be here. And as you give yourself permission to fully be here in accordance with what we're going to talk about today, I want you to just visualize yourself as a tree. And as that tree, I want you to feel your feet going into the earth as the roots in the earth in the ground. And then feel your body and your core as the trunk. And then your head as the branches and the leaves and the flowers and your arms as the branches as well. And just feel your whole being as this beautiful tree reaching out to the sun and feeling the sun upon your skin. And as the sun is on your skin, feeling the light coming into your body, feeling the wind brussle up against your leaves. And then you're going to feel for a moment a few drops of rain hitting you from the sky. And as that rain hits you and the sun is peeking through the clouds and the wind is gently blowing, I want you to just breathe in and experience the beauty that it is to be alive. and then inviting you to bring that aliveness to today's episode to hearing exactly what is here for you to hear to ignite your life your being and with that awareness Introducing the Tree of Transformation I invite you to open your eyes and to come into the present moment and thank you thanks for being here thank you Lizzie Yeah. And um Derek, so Derek came up with the visual graph of the tree of transformation and he's gonna walk us through what each layer of the tree is because I think it's such a beautifully laidout map of all of these concepts. And while a lot of the concepts may not be new, the way that it just lays out in simplicity, a way you can evaluate yourself and your life, I find incredibly powerful. So Derek, if you want to walk everyone through on a basic level, what is the tree of transformation and what are each of the layers? Yeah. Yeah. So, everyone knows what a tree looks like and what it is. And so it's this tool is is set up exactly like a tree is. It's you have well first the foundation, you have the soil, you have the roots, you have the trunk, you have the branches, and then you have the leaves and the flowers and the fruit. And so those seven layers are how a tree functions. You know, a tree takes water from the soil and releases it through its leaves and it goes through that whole process. It also takes carbon dioxide into its leaves and puts it back into the soil. So the tree goes kind of both ways. And I want to just lay out each level of the tree. And it's a metaphor for for life, for u a single person, a relationship, a company, a school, a community, whatever it is, you can visualize the organism or the organization as a tree in this in this tool, the tree of transformation. So let's start from the top. We'll start at the fruit level which is the results. So anytime we have the results of a situation a results of um you know if you're looking at let's say a company you know and uh the example would be in a healthy holistic company you know the the results would be profitability. you're looking at different um different metrics that define the results. Whatever those metrics are for that particular result, but that's that's sort of the outcomes. Then we're looking at the flower which is the intention. So where you're putting your focus and your energy and your attention is your intention, right? And so the outcomes of that become the fruit, right? Just the fl the flower becomes the fruit. Um so then we go a little deeper and we look at the perceptions and those are the leaves. Yeah. And so uh it's interesting because perception like leaves of a tree affect the entire tree. It's where water is released. It's also where carbon dioxide comes in. And so it has a different like not all leaves become fruit like like flowers do. So the perception kind of washes over the whole tree. Um and it's just the way you see things, you know, your perception. So then we go a little deeper and it's the branches, right, that hold the leaves and the flowers and the fruit. um the branches are a little harder to change. Most of the time they've become woody, you know, in a tree. So, if you're trying to change the branches, um you'll have to cut them off. And the branches are your habits and behaviors. So, the habits and behaviors are a little more set in their ways. They're a little bit you have to be, you know, really conscious about changing habits and behaviors, which is a which is a big um thing that people are focusing on these days, which is great. Um, then you go a little deeper and you get into the trunk. And the trunk is like the core values. And the core values um are so solid they hold the entire tree you know uh in order if you cut the trunk you cut off the whole tree the tree dies. So the trunk really holds the trees. I that's why it's really important to get values in order and looking at values can really help. Um, and well, they have an effect on on the entire tree, right? So then, and they're rigid. They're really they're they they they stay there. So So then we go a little deeper and we go under the surface, right? And we look at the roots. And the roots are the core beliefs. Mhm. Those are the ones that are harder to The seven layers explained know what they are. You know, do a little bit of thinking and you can dive into like what what is the things I value? What is the real trunk? But, uh, the beliefs are are are literally underground. So they're deep in the psyche and it's uh it it it also affects the entire tree because where the roots are um that's where they're getting all the nutrients and if the roots aren't in a good environment uh then the tree is going to suffer and that's what brings us to the soil. So the soil is the environment and the culture. So if it's a person, right, you have the results of that person. You'll know them by their fruits. Um then you have the person's intention and the intention only does so much to the fruit, right? Then the perception does a little more. The habits and behaviors does a little more. The trunk is like the core of the person. It's really it's right here. And then uh the the the roots and the beliefs that's what really really creates the life and then the the culture and the environment has an even bigger effect. So that's essentially the tree of transformation. Yeah, that's that's beautiful. I think it's a powerful way to take a look at yourself and what you're creating in your life or your business or any or your relationship and be able to look through each of these levels like you know what are what are my results what are the intentions what are the perceptions habits values beliefs and culture and I'd love if you could share a couple examples of this and then we're going to dive deeper into more understanding Yeah. So, since I'm a singer and I teach a lot of conscious singing, um, I've put together a tree of transformation that is your having access to your voice and not having access to your voice as sort of the two metrics of like a healthy tree and an unhealthy tree. Um, and we'll we'll see what they look like side by side, but essentially um, and I want to I want to read this because I want to get this right. Um, but the fruit the results of a healthy access to your voice is I have access to my true and full voice all the time when singing and speaking. That would be the result. Mhm. The restricted voice is I don't have access to my true and full voice all the time when I'm singing and speaking. Then we go down to the flower and the intention is I want to express myself freely and authentically. I want to be heard in my wholeness and I want my voice to carry power and presence. Those would be some example intentions you would have about singing in a fully aligned with access to your voice. A healthy tree. Yeah. So, an unhealthy tree would also have the same intention, oddly enough. It would say, I want to feel free, expressive, connected when I sing and speak. I want to be real and impactful without fear. So, interestingly enough, the flower has some effect, but very little in this case, at least on um the result. Mhm. So then we get dive a little deeper into the the leaves. Um and in the healthy tree, it's my voice matters. My truth is worth sharing. And sound is sacred. It's a you know, you're really honoring your voice. Uh if it's not healthy, uh sometimes it's not safe to be fully heard could be a perception you have. Um it's also kind of sounds like a belief. um you know or I have to get it right. If I show up fully, I might be judged or misunderstood. There's uh there's a fear, a perception that you're not safe to express yourself ultimately. Um then you look at the habits, you know, with healthy access to your voice, you're singing all the time. You're speaking from the body, not just the mind, and you're releasing tension and fear before singing. You're really just being present. Um, now if it's an unhealthy tree, you could be holding your breath, not singing a lot. Like the habits is just you're just not expressing your voice. You're not telling your truth. You're not um you know practicing this expression. Then uh in the core values uh in a healthy tree, it's it's about authenticity. It's about presence. It's about expression. It's about resonance, honesty, connection. Um, and in an unhealthy tree, um, it's about belonging and validation and protection and artistic integrity and protecting sort of like you you're shelled. There's a lot of armor there in the core. Those are some of the things you you value. Uh and then in the core beliefs in a healthy tree my voice is safe. Uh in a healthy tree my expression is a gift not a threat and I don't have to hold back who I am. And then in an unhealthy tree those beliefs could look like my full expression might push people away. Uh I'm only lovable when I sound a certain way. My real voice isn't enough. you know. Um and then in the soil in the environment of that you have in a healthy tree probably a supportive environment um that honors the vulnerability somatic safety you know um just feeling like you can express yourself and people are really encouraging you to um be singing who you are, you know. Um, it's really cool to listen to like early tapes of Artha Franklin singing where like the she's in the church and everyone's like cheering her on as she sings. It's just such a beautiful soil for a singer. Um, and then in an unhealthy tree, you might have an environment where expression was judged and ignored or mocked and high performance expectations or perfectionism. You might have spaces that valued appearance over presence. and there's a lack of safety in vulnerability. So those are the two trees. That's the example of, you know, having access to your voice, what those two things kind of look like. And I I love that because in the tree of transformation, it's it's like a step further than the come from. So if you listen back to episode 3, you'll see where we talk about the come from, which is like where you're coming from with all things. Yeah. And that's like going straight to the soil. Go straight to the soil. Pulling out a little chunk. Yeah. Which is go listen to that if you haven't heard it yet. But what I love about the tree is then you can look at where you are now. You can lay out a full tree and ask yourself the questions of like where I am, where am I in my life right now? What are my current results? You know, if you think of something in your mind right now, like what are what are the results I'm looking at? you know, and and what are my intentions? What are my perceptions and my thoughts? What are my habits? What are my values? What are my beliefs? What are my what is the culture I'm living in? And then it gives you an honest evaluation of where you're at. So, say you're this unhealthy singer in that situation. You could look at that and go, "Okay, this is where I'm currently at." Yeah. And then you could look at the healthy singer and you could be like, "This is where I want to be." And so you could write out, "This is where I'm at and this is where I want to be." And allow yourself to begin to step into a new identity. Yeah. Yeah. Holistically, absolutely. And And where where is it that I have a block? Yes. I keep intending for this thing to happen, but for whatever reason, it's not. And if it's not, if you're, you know, in the realms of manifestation and you're like, I want, you know, the relationship of my dreams and my intentions are there to have a good relationship, but like the results are I'm at home and I'm alone and I'm on dating apps and and like, okay, great. So then maybe my habits are I stay at home. Yeah, my habits are I stay at home. How you going to meet anyone? My my perceptions are like, you know, where where can I meet people? I can only I can only meet anyone on on a dating app, right? And then the habits are you stay alone at home and you use the dating app and you don't really go out. When you're walking around outside, you're not really connecting with the world. You're more on your phone. Yeah. The habits are are branches. And then if you would look at your your values in that situation of a trunk, like the values might be, you know, maybe you value yourself, which is really good, and you value like, you know, um being with someone who who matches your values, which is awesome, but maybe you you don't you might value Yeah. Um Yeah. You might value like safety. You might value safety over the uncomfortability of going up to somebody and saying um hello, you know, or not safety, comfort. Comfort. I think it's comfort. You might value comfort. So that that comfort is not outweighing your, you know, you'd rather be at home with Netflix and a bath and than out and about, which nothing wrong with that, but you might have that as your value. It might be the values that's the block. Could be the beliefs. It could be the beliefs. There could be an unconscious belief that I'm going to be alone forever. Yeah, totally. or I'm, you know, not good enough or or no one out there will understand me or match my energy or, you know, there could be this belief or it's too late for me or it's too late for me. Yeah. Yeah. Those are all sort of stories or it's too early for me. Yeah. That's a big one too in our culture. It's like, ah, I'm too young to find real love. You know, what's that? You know, it could be any of the or the culture, you know, the soil, the culture. You could be in an isolated apartment complex where no one really talks to each other or or hanging out with a bunch of single people. Hanging out with a bunch of single people. Yeah. I mean, that could just be in the culture. The the the people you hang out with don't they're not really in relationship. So, you've created a culture of you have this intention that doesn't really align to the soil you're in, you know. Yeah. Absolutely. So then say that is your current reality then you could look at that and then and then you could go all right so I want to shift that if if you're single and you want to be in relationship then let's let's look at what a healthy paradigm might be you know um maybe your soil if we start at the soil maybe your soil is like you start surrounding yourself with people who have healthy relationships and the kind of relationships you would want to be in Mhm. So then you start like learning and being exposed to like what that's even like, what that way of thinking is like, what that way of being is like start to believe it's possible. Yeah. You know, totally. And that that soil affects the roots and the the like just right there, you know? It's like that's what the roots is growing in is this the the beliefs of the other people is is sort of that's and that's where like you know going deeper into the tree metaphors that the fungi helps connect the different trees together so that they're sharing um those beliefs and knowledge and so like the soil you're in affects the beliefs you have because those are the roots that's what you're growing. Yeah. So then you put yourself in a culture of people who are living out what you want to be living out essentially and that's going to inspire those new beliefs which those new beliefs might be like of course I have love. Love is easy to find because all of a sudden you're hearing all their stories about how you know synchronistically they met and so then they're you're like oh wow they met just while they were being themselves. So I Healing from the soil up believe someone will meet me while I'm just being myself and doing what I love. And when you're hanging out with that kind of soil, your values might then become like I value connection. I value I value love. Love. Yeah. Yeah. I value relationship. I value, you know, I I value family or you know, whatever that might be. Devotion. Devotion. Yeah. I value devotion. Commitment. What? whatever it is that um your values are. Yeah. And the values of that would go aligned with with your goals. Exactly. And when you have those really clear values, then when it comes to your habits in the world, you know, are you then maybe now you're you're only going on dates with people who are even aligned to your values and your and and your beliefs. So you're not even like entertaining, you know, dates that aren't. And the people you are entertaining are like, "Okay, yeah, there's a real alignment here because you're wanting a real relationship." Yeah. Um Yeah. Yeah. And that Well, the intentions, right, the flowers then are aligned with every bit of the tree, every every layer supports the layer above it. Yep. And the perceptions are like, "Of course I can." Like there's there's possibility it will I skipped perceptions. Yeah, it will occur. I veered off into the intentions, but the perception is Yeah. is is that there's love everywhere. There's love everywhere and like there's the person that's here for me will will show up. Yeah. You know, it's interesting how perceptions like the leaves are very similar to the roots and they are in a tree too because the they're taking in and letting go the energy. They're also the light as well. And um cuz leaves store sunlight and turn it into food, which is what um and the roots take in the water. Yeah. And they release the carbon into the soil. So there's there's like exchanges happening on both sides. So they're it's very mirrored. Yeah. And Yeah. And in that too, we ordered to find this out more if we go back to like habits a bit in this scenario, your habits will probably be more engaged in, you know, the kind of places you you'd want to meet someone or the kind of energy you want to be in in in partnership. So, um, yeah, I think your your day-to-day habits will just elevate and where you go, where you spend your time. Um, yeah, those behaviors, the branches. Mhm. You know, and some branches are going like this in a tree. Yeah. And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is cut that branch because it's it's actually blocking energy, right? Which would be like a closed heart. Yeah. Which is like Oh, absolutely. I had this habit of closing closing my heart. And and I have to like literally and and the Yeah. The cool thing about a tree is that you can cut the branch. Um even though trees do feel that. Yeah. Sometimes it's healthy for a tree. They say, "I've never asked a tree." Yeah. Be a good thing. They feel about it. But we'll we'll ask a tree and report back. Yeah. Or you ask a tree and report back. Yeah. Let us know what the trees think about cutting off branches that are unhealthy. Yeah. Because trees talk. We'll get to that some other time. So then you get your results, right? And the results are directly affected by the soil, the roots, the trunk. It's just it's a natural progression of things. And in this situation, your your your partner comes. It just you your partnership shows up. Yeah. The result is you're in a healthy relationship. You're in a healthy relationship. You know, that's that's the result of, you know, that's a if that's your goal. If that's your goal in this example. So you can look at anything that you're looking to create in your life and and really take an honest look at like, okay, where where do I need to maybe give some love? You know, which part of this needs some tending to? Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's interesting how often we we try to change the canopy. Mhm. And we don't pay enough attention to the roots. Now, obviously, if you're watching this, you you probably have heard us talk about soil at this point, but when you affect the soil, you affect the whole tree. Yeah. and all the trees around it because it's what everything is growing in. It's the culture. It's the environment. Uh that's why it's so important to make soil. The first thing I would do in a garden is if a tree is not bearing fruit, I would start amending the soil like first thing and start mulching and and and putting in as much love as I can into the soil and then seeing if there's any branches that are crossed and cutting off energy and potentially a hazard. Some branches are likely to fall like you know like and if it it falls on its own and it's not cut it can rip and then uh create an open wound and the tree could get sick and then more of it can die. So it is actually good to go in with intention and and cut and create space and sort of like spring time is sort of the time to you know or or um winter winter before that the stuff comes back. Yeah. You know and I think too going to the soil can also be how you're tending to your internal reality. Mhm. is really at the soil level like what is your inner culture looking like? How are you processing your emotions? How are you being with yourself? How are you loving yourself? Like what is the culture you create inside of yourself that is allowing the tree of your life or whatever creation to to manifest. and and um the soil level is also very connected to to the come from and where you're where you're coming from, but it's it's even all the energy that's around the come from and like like how are you being? I really feel like the soil level is your beingness in the example of like one person in just yeah in just like what you can like one way you can really tend to the soil level I feel is through the culture but your culture is also your beingness it's your inner beingness it's your inner well of self and like and then cultivating that also inside of yourself. So, it's an external culture and like what friends are you surrounding yourself with, who's around you, what kind of like that's super important. And if you find yourself in places where you're like I don't resonate with these people or like I'm going to bars all the time and I don't want to be at a bar because the people here aren't contributing. They are not aligned with what I want to be creating. Not that bars mean that, but like that's an example. Or you're just going into social circles that you go out of alignment, aren't conducive to wherever you want to be. Right. Yeah. The results that you want are sort of your intentions. Yeah. Exactly. But then if you change the culture and you go start going like, "Oh, wow. I'm going to go to dance or I'm going to go to yoga or I'm going to go to book club." And like you you start getting into a culture that resonates more. But then if you do that same thing internally and you go like, "Wow, internally I'm going to this loud crazy bar every night and it's like there's people spilling all over me. You can't really talk cuz it's just noisy in there and I've got like beer on my shirt and like I want to have a conversation but it's so loud. Like what's going on?" And that's what it feels like on the inside, right? Or you could shift your inner soil and then all of a sudden you're like, "Wow, I'm at a beautiful bookstore. There's soft music playing. All my ideas are clearly organized. I can just pick a book off the shelf and there's a nice cafe and it's quiet. Oh my gosh, it's it's like I have this bookstore to myself suddenly." And wow, the only person coming in is oh is like someone that I really want to talk to. Oh wow. All of a sudden I have this inner culture of a pristine bookstore and there's trees coming through the window and it's light and it's bright and you walk outside and you're in nature and like both of those realities are possible to create within the soil of your own being and you have the option to decide which inner soil, inner culture and then also external culture you want to be a part of. Yeah. And I feel like the the soil in your being is sort of like the energy and emotion that you're most in like that you're that you're in all the time. Are you in a happy, positive state? Yeah. Or are you in an angry, negative, fearful, sad state? M and that you know what what is that you know feeding to your your then then your beliefs and your values and you know go up the tree and find Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. And if I'd add to that, it's like what is the energy even holding that energy? So if you're holding yourself in a loving energy, no matter what you're feeling, then you're holding the positive and the negative in love, which then I would say that negative energy will then transmute into positive energy rather quickly because that soil is love. So then the the beingness and and I'd call it like the the baseline that you exist at is more positively oriented and more lovingly oriented versus the baseline being like constantly like condescending and judging and tearing things down and like or tearing yourself down or going to the negative thought form immediately. If the baseline is geared towards positivity and love, even when the negative stuff comes up would be the caveat that I would add, then I feel like that's it's just rich. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The tree of transformation. Is there any other examples that uh you'd like to explore? Yeah. Let's dive in. um asking the audience um so we could do an example of relationship because I feel like I mean Derek and I if you don't already know are are in a relationship and we live and breathe relationship every day and so let's talk about what maybe an unhealthy relationship might experience and what a healthy relationship might experience. So now this is the next step. You were single. Now you've found your partner and now your job is to then create that that health. Yeah. So I've uh I could speak to both. Yeah. So let's start with what an unhealthy tree might look like in an unhealthy relationship on each level and then we'll talk about what a healthy tree looks like. So the one thing I want to qualify yeah this whole um example with is that the relationship you have with yourself is the relationship you get with another person. That's that's something I believe that's in my root structure totally now is like you get what you are. So, um, if you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself, chances are you're going to end up in an unhealthy relationship with someone else because Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I think absolutely you you get what you are and and when you shift within the external shifts and even if it doesn't, your relationship to it does, right? You know, Yeah. Even if that particular relationship doesn't change, your relationship to the relationship changes changes and you probably end up in another relation a different one or a new relationship with yourself. Totally. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And these can be any any kind of relationship. They're not always romantic. It could be, you know, friendship. It could be family. It could be anything. But we'll we'll dive specifically into partnership, romantic relationship. Yeah. So let's look at the results. The results of a healthy relationship is a healthy relationship. It's a healthy relationship. What does that mean? Yeah. What are the results? You want to go healthy first or unhealthy first? Uh your preference, your call. Let's go unhealthy and then walk the transformation into what? Healthy. Okay. Um unhealthy would be poor communication. um often arguing and fighting. Um The Voice Tree — reclaiming authentic expression dissatisfaction. There's usually sexual repression. There's there's a there's a lot of different metrics you can use to kind of gauge whether a relationship is healthy or not. And that's going to be subjective to whoever's in it. Well, we're going to do an example. Yeah. So, this is just an example. I'm just Yeah, totally. You know that everyone's got their own metrics. Yeah. Yeah. Um this is those are some of mine. Yeah. Yeah. This is an example of you know, you know, some like person C. Yeah. Yeah. Unhealthy relationship. You want to give some metrics? Yeah. I think it's it's um lack of listening. I think it's Yeah. miscommunication. I think it's the result is also like feeling like disconnected and like you're in a different world with the other person. Yeah. Resentments. Resentments. Uh-huh. Totally. Anger. Um uh it could there could be jealousy. There could be Yeah. Feeling unsafe. Yeah. Um yeah. So I think those are I think we covered that. the the intention. Mhm. I know when I was in unhealthy relationship, you know, I wanted a healthy relationship. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. The intentions are probably often that, right? I also wanted to be right a lot, you know. I think the intentions were like uh, you know, different. Yeah, that's a good point. I think it could be wanting to be right or wanting to be I think an intention in an unhealthy relationship could be like wanting to be like the best or like better than there could be like an intention wanting to be in control. Yeah. In control. Yeah. Yeah. Those are good. Um okay. So now let's go to perceptions. Yeah. The Yeah. Perceptions could be like blaming perceptions. Um, I perceive them as stupid or messy or incapable or unworthy. Yeah. Um, uh, perceiving them as anything in lack, untrustworthy, perceiving them as the cause of all my struggle. Mhm. the problem. Perceiving them through blame. Yeah. Perceiving them as the problem. Wow. Yeah. I think that's a big one in unhealthy relationships is they always perceive the other person as the problem. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. That's a good one. Okay. So then what are maybe some of the habits in an unhealthy relationship? I think the habits is uh putting off the conversation that needs to be had. M withholding. Uhhuh. Withholding. Yeah. Yeah. Withholding is a big one. Yeah. Energy just tanks. Yeah. It's like the holding it in and then letting all the resentment and fear build up. Yeah. They say that. Oh, another habit is aventing outside of the relationship. Yes. Instead of the conversation that needs to be had within the relationship. Totally. So creating Yeah. all these drama spirals outside and then not actually addressing what needs presence there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Another habit is um I don't know if it's a habit, but if it it could turn into a habit is arguing. Arguing. Yeah. Just like letting the argument just just take over the whole night. You know, that's a that's a habit. Mhm. Speaking negatively about your partner I feel like is a a negative habit associated with negative relationships when you're like talking to friends and family or people outside of the relationship and saying negativity toward your partner I think is a disassociating is another one like watching something instead of connecting. Yeah. Like Yeah. you know, just kind of getting lost in the like a another violent drama just taking in all the dramatic arguments in the show. Yeah. That then get played out in the relationship too. It's very interesting. Yeah. Um that as a habit of like just wanting to shut off and tune out, turn off. Yeah. Um, I think that habit just leads to the the the core habit there is just putting off the conversation. Putting off the communication. Communication. Yeah. Not asking questions, not listening. And making assumptions, I'd say, would be a habit. Um, taking things personally, letting the ego run the show. I think all of those are probably habits. And yeah, avoiding avoiding Yeah. Um, avoiding romance, avoiding, you know, anything intimacy. Yeah. Yeah. Avoiding real heart connection cuz that can be Yeah. Um, so then let's go go into values even deeper into, you know, we're going to go we're going to stay with us cuz we're going to get to the healthy tree. The whole tree is getting healthy. These values. Yeah. The values then might be Oh gosh, what would a value be? Um, being right. I value being right. I value being right. Yeah. I value being I value being the victim. Mhm. Yeah. I value being the victim. Heard and seen. Mhm. Which there's nothing wrong with valuing being heard and seen. Um, but that that that is a value. Yeah. That that with an unhealthy habit. Totally. He could have a perfectly fine value, but if the habit and the belief on the other side are not, you know, not Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Um Yeah. It can be Yeah. valuing being right over valuing connection. Mhm. Um I value uh Yeah. And the unhealthy one is I is valuing. Yeah. The deeper you go, the the there's almost like a a value that's like you don't value the person and as the same as you. So like it whether you're not valuing yourself as enough and then you're like constantly a martyr in a relationship or and you like overvalue the other person or you or you value yourself more than the other person. So you're not actually eye to eye, you know, like you got to value. So I think not valuing the other person is a a a missing value. Yeah. I think valuing comfort, too. Valuing comfort. Yeah, that's a big one. It's such an easy escapism. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Valuing the I just want to be comfortable. I don't want to Mhm. I don't want to rock the boat. Valuing distraction. like, oh, I value it because then I don't have to deal with a real thing. So, I I value distraction. That would be over here. I'm gonna work on another project. Yeah. Valuing pretending because then you don't have to be in a real Well, it's not valuing pretending. I don't think the value is there. I think the like like cuz you don't pretending seems more like a habit. Uh-huh. Yeah. Where the value is deeper than that. Yeah. It's like not having to change. I value my uh uh my identity. That's it. It's valuing whatever identity structure is being lived inside and if that identity structure is challenged then the pretending would happen on top of it. Yeah. So like whatever like it's almost like a in a weird way it's like loyalty to your integrity or to your identity to your identity your fabricated identity and it might even be loyalty to your programming. You could have loyalty to the program you grew up inside of and that could be you are your identity. Totally. Totally. um which anything that challenges that positive or negative could be could could be confronting. Yeah. It's I think where we get into the real trouble cuz some of the values could be like not so obvious that they're unhealthy cuz they're not and sometimes they're not unhealthy. It's like loyalty is a great value, right? Yeah. Like being, you know, in it could be there could be integrity there. Well, they can be threaded. I think it's so nuanced when you get to the value level because you could value loyalty, but then you might be valuing loyalty to something that's actually going against the thing that you want. Yeah. Exactly. You might be valuing like if the belief is running through the trunk. Uhhuh. Um, you know, the trunk could be integrity. Yeah. And the integrity is being held on this belief that says I'm worthless. Yes. And so the trunk's doing its job. Mhm. You know, I value integity but but underneath the surface and that's where we can dive a little deeper in this example. Totally. I value loyalty and then the belief might be also like I'm in scarcity and there's not enough but then your value is being loyal to scarcity that you learned. So then it's like it's embedded. Yeah. There's not enough attention, praise, love. Yeah, there's not enough not enough love love to go around. Yeah. I think that's a unconscious belief in an unhealthy relationship that there's not enough I got to like make sure I get it. Yeah. Or that there's too much love. Yeah. Speak to that. Like um when you hit almost like your um in the Gay Hendricks talks about this in like the upper limits. So when you hit like an upper limit point of how much positivity you can actually hold within your system, there could be a belief system of like there can only be so much love before it's dangerous. I'm not safe. Yeah. I think is the Yeah. What the belief is because you hit this place of like so much love that it can almost hit up against unsafety because it's just the unknown. Yeah. And so there's like a cap. The belief is like a cap. There's a cap on love. Yeah. I I love that concept of uh upper limit level. Yeah. That Gay Hendricks talks about. It's it's a it's a really, you know, I think you bump up against so much of it because when we're kids, not every kid, but I think a lot of kids and a lot of people I know and maybe because this is the experience I had, but um you know, you're you're expressing yourself, you're laughing, you're singing, you're loving. It's like and then some adult comes and is like, "Hey, be quiet." Yeah. You know, we're not doing that right now. You know, and they don't mean to do they didn't mean to like, but they didn't understand that like as a kid, you're expressing your this infinite love that then all of a sudden I'm d I'm in danger. So, my expression is too much. My expression is too much. Then that might come into your relationship where you create experience with a partner who's like you feel like is trying to limit your expression because some part of you learned and bought into a belief of my expression is too much. I'm too much. Yeah, that's another I'm too much totally root. I'm too much. No one will understand me. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. So then you create situations of not being understood in relationship. So the beliefs is really because like what you said like you get what you are in relationship and I really think you you do especially in your primary romantic relationship like Yeah. And so like if you believe you're going to be misunderstood, you'll you'll see that there. If you believe there's not enough, you'll see that there. If you believe, you know, whatever it is, you'll see there. Um but then let's go to the culture. Okay. Yeah. Or you have more on that? Well, I might have a couple more beliefs. Yeah. Yeah. Bring them on. Yeah. Uh I think the the the one about being misunderstood. I believe that no one will understand me. Yeah. Uh is such a good one. Totally. Uh because then why even have the conversation and then you do have the conversation and then they don't they don't understand you. Totally. Because that's the belief. So everything else is filtered through it. So then you then perpetuate and project on an experience that's because the belief is no one will understand me. So no matter what they probably won't even if they do and and your roots is like that's your footing in the earth. That's your feet on the ground. So if your roots are telling you I'm not safe, that's how you're getting your stability. That's how you're getting your water, your resources. Like it's it affects so much. You know, they say get to the root of the problem. What's the root of the problem, you know? Yeah. Um any other beliefs. Yeah, maybe. But let's get to the soil. The soil. Yeah. So the soil in an unhealthy relationship is probably I mean definitely dry and you know there's not a culture of unconditional love. I'd say the opposite of unconditional love which is fear. Oh yeah. What are the other relationships in my life? Culture of fear. those you know my parents fight or my siblings you know whatever it is like you I never was modeled a healthy relationship all the relationships in your life have not been healthy so obviously that's weighing into the belief system that like you kind of just endure your partner totally yeah and that is right if you yeah you spent your not to be judgmental I you know I really don't I uh I I don't prefer it. Yeah. Um you know, and everyone else's experience is totally valid. I don't mean to to to The Relationship Tree — composting conflict come off as judgmental. This is an example, not like a a you know, this is just an example. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. but in that soil. So you have different uh different relationships that are also mirroring yours and um you know the guys get together and talk about the the girlfriends or the wives and totally they're more honest with their guy friendss than with their wives. Yeah. Because you know that's just how it's done, right? Cuz that's the culture. culture is you I mean we looked at we watched the first episode of Fred Fllynstone Derek and I and it was mindblowing because the culture from that first episode was like the men lie to their wives and are kind of just no offense but not very smart and like yeah they're dumb they're dumb and a little like baboonish and they just lie to their wives and then the women first are like super optimistic and really trusting of their husband husband. So they open their hearts and they try to be loving and then their husbands are lying to them. So then they spend their time worried and then they're angry. Right? So it's like the women are worried and angry. Angry and men are dumb and liars. Liars and that's like the culture. That's the imprint which the culture I think is hugely affected by every single thing that we watch in media. So the women are the women are smart and angry. Yes. And the men are dumb, dumb, lying. Yeah. And um I don't know and like not emotionally intelligent and and so much of those soil like those imprints happen in media. Like I um the amount of like men who are who lack intelligence or intuitive awareness or emotional intelligence in in media is is mindboggling because I know plenty of men who do and that's like yourself and it's it's that doesn't have to be the reality. But when that's the soil and that's the culture, then a man grows up in that environment and they go, I guess I'm a dumb bamboo and I should lie to my wife and just, you know, bump elbows with my boys at the golf club. And like that's just what's learned. Yeah. I mean, that's that's the culture. It's the culture. That's the culture in America. That's the culture in the Western culture. And we're affected by our culture and and so again the the roots are in the soil. The roots are in the soil. And so the invitation is to look at the culture. Like what is the culture? The culture might be Yeah. hanging out with um like the man hanging out with men who aren't in healthy relationships. So then that affects his thought forms and the woman hanging out with women who hate men and that affects her thought forms. So then they're coming together and yeah, the culture is they don't like each other. They don't like each other. So like the culture, they don't respect each other. There's not a level of like a woman's going to say something and it's you know what I mean? There's no baseline respect there. Yeah. And so how can you bring that into a relationship and expect a good outcome? Totally. Totally. So that's a a very unhealthy relationship blueprint. And and then now we're going to talk about what a healthy relationship and no judgment if you align to any of those. We can all have pieces of those that show up occasionally and 100%. You know, cuz that's in that's what's in the soil that is bigger than all of us. Yeah. Exactly. And so we're we're here deconstructing things that are so nuanced. Nuanced and also normalized. Mhm. and we're bringing them to the surface because we're we're going to the soil level and looking at what's been so normalized in our soil as a society and we're breaking down that dry crusty dirt and bringing in water and bringing in nutrients. So, some of these conversations are are going to be on the edge. They're bound to push some and they might make you uncomfortable and we actually invite that. We invite forward the uncomfortability and because where that uncomfortability is there is gold underneath it. And so that's part of alchemy is is hearing something that we might say that might be said in the world and being able to not just blame it or attack it but go what is this bringing up within me? What is this intensity bringing up and inviting forward within me? And if you are here, I guarantee you a part of your being in your soul wants to do some deep alchemy. And so we invite forward if we just said these things and you're feeling fear or you're feeling intensity like be present with it, be loving with it, be gentle with it because all of these are constructs that were created and we can create new constructs anytime we want. That's right. And so and that's why these tools that's that's sort of our intention in providing these tools. Yeah. Um is so that we all have a part in making the soil and the culture that we that we all live in because it affects all everyone's fullest expression affects everyone else's fullest expression. And yeah, the the quality of life is affected by the soil that we're all in. So, and so before we go too far, let's go to the positive side. Yes. Yes. Well, I wanted to say one more thing about the soil in a unhealthy Yeah. You know, it in the natural, you know, world, if we're looking at an unhealthy soil, Yeah. it's not going to have a lot of life in it. It's going to be dry and it's gonna uh when it's dry, it's sort of stubborn. It's like caked in there. It's roots can't really um take any resources because there's not a lot to go around. There's no life bringing those resources available to the tree. Yeah. Uh so it's perfectly normal to have cactus in the desert, right? A desert is like an unhealthy soil, but not for a cactus. Yeah. Cactuses are they thrive in the desert. Yeah. And because the way that they're built is that they store all of their resources inside and then they put thorns out. And so if you're in an emotional desert, you may be behaving like a cactus because that is what's normal in those environments. And so why we're relating it to nature and why I think it's so valuable to relate it to nature is that there's no blame here. There's no um judgment in the result. The result you get in a desert is a cactus because that's what does well in a cactus. That's what it learned. It learned to suck up resources and stick out thorns and and that's how it's surviving. And there's a lot of that going on. And you know whereas the other way is if you have a fruit tree in a rich soil you have all this fruit that then is given to anyone who wants the fruit and then it's also dropping fruit to itself that goes back into the soil and it feeds itself and others. So there's this like there's it sort of can domino the other way. Yeah. So let's that tree. So how do we bridge to that? Uh because the point here is to take an unhealthy tree that has rotten fruit and put that rotten fruit in a soil maker, right? Put it in an alchemy pot. Yeah. Uh those rotten fruits, those arguments, those those those beliefs, the things that um you know, it can actually be the fuel for the garden. Yeah. And so when you when you when you have when you have an alchemy pot like we do in our relationship, that's actually why we came up with the name alchemy pot because it's something that we said all the time to each other all the time in uh imagining that there was one of these in between us and anytime there was something sensitive that or intense or even exciting like that just wanted to be looked at. It was high energy. Yeah. um we would say alchemy pot. And what that did was created a space Yeah. where we could process some of the underground stuff and actually nurture the space between us that we're both growing in that we're both um you know both of our roots are, you know, the the the where we're getting our nutrients, where we're getting all of our water, you know, it's like this is um the environment. This is our garden. Yeah. So, let's bring the alchemy pot and walk people through an example here. Do we want to start at the fruit or start kind of to the soil and go back up? I mean, you decide. Yeah. Either way is cool with me. Well, let's go to the fruit just so we have the fruit and work our way down. Yeah. Yeah. So, the fruit is a healthy relationship. The fruit is what are the metrics of a healthy relationship? There's love all the time. There's connection all the time. Communication, open communication. There's safety, there's ease, there's intimacy, there's an open heart, there is like laughter. Yeah. There is play, expression, expression. You be you feel like you can be yourself fully, I'd say, is like the ultimate fruit in a healthy relationship. You feel like you can be your full authentic self. Yes. And you're becoming more and more your full authentic self by being in the relationship. I'd say that's a maybe the biggest best I think we covered the fruit that is the fruit of a healthy relationship. Yeah. Uh intentions is I want to be in I want to be in a healthy relationship. I want to be in a loving relationship. I want to be in a fun relationship, a creative relationship. I want my partner to be happy. I want my partner to be happy. Yeah. I want my partner to be expressed. I want my partner to be in joy. I want my partner to be loved. I want my partner to be cared for. I want my partner to be seen and valued and respected. You know, I want to create more loving. I want to care. I want to show up fully. I want to be my best self. Those are all I want to show up as much as I can. Yeah. I want to be present. Yeah. I want to I want to be so present to each moment and like take each moment in and I want to create the best version of this relationship. Yeah, I'd say that would be healthy intentions. Good. Yeah. Perceptions are like I can trust you. I can trust you. I'm grateful for you. It's like the gratitude really falls into perception. Yeah. I see how valuable you are. I see how valuable you are. You know, I I can perceive the um your potential. Totally. I see your potential and I see I see your potential and I see how how valuable you already are. Totally. And I see your innate unique self. So, it's like there's a perception of like you're irreplaceable, you know? It's like what is Yeah, it's true. It's like what is so uniquely here could never be repeated ever again. And so that by nature is completely irreplaceable and that by nature is an invitation to be fully present and embrace the fullness of it because it it could never be replaced. Yeah. And that value um Yeah. I'd say those are really healthy perceptions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perceiving the witness like perceiving the genius in the other person. Perceiving the wisdom the wisdom in the other person. Perceiving the positive qualities in the other person. Yeah. Um perceiving you could also perceive the the the the qualities that Yeah. you know are to be composted. Totally. Totally. Totally. I think that's a actually a huge part of a healthy relationship is is and I know speaking in our relationship which I consider to be incredibly healthy is there's a an honest perception. So there's a of yourself too. Of yourself too. Yeah. Yeah. Like what am I not bringing to the table or what am I bringing to the table that's like stinking up the table. Totally. So perceiving your own densities and then perceiving your The Climate Tree — healing the planet through self-awareness partner's densities, but as we go deeper from a place of like inviting forward more potential because the underlying perception is this is an incredible human being and I'm grateful to be with them. So there it's just anything negative I feel like is perceived through the lens of of it gets to become gold. Yeah. Um Yeah. And so those are some perceptions. Habits. Um, alchemy pot. Alchemy pot. Oh, that's such a great I'm I'm telling you. Yeah. The habit of being able to say alchemy pot, which means can we create a safe space where I can let go of something that you know I just need to say so that I'm not withholding. Because if I'm withholding, my energy goes down. The energy of the relationship goes down. Like we just pull away from each other. It's like disconnected. And so alchemy pot in staying in the positive side, it's like an invitation to lean in. And I feel like speaking candidly in our relationship when something's intense, instead of pulling away, we lean in. Mhm. But that's because we have the tool of an alchemy pot to create those intensities into gold and to lovingly hold that safe space. So it's like no matter what comes up, it's going to be held in love and it's going to transform because there's a pot and well and and how that affects the perception is that we're perceiving the difficult conversations in a different way completely. So we're perceiving difficulty as an opportunity. Yeah. For gold. Yeah. So every difficulty is actually a gift. And so every time we have an alchemy pot, it's like okay, we get to transform and and yeah, for months we would every day almost say like alchemy pot, which was also an invitation to just come into realness and come into presence and come into safety and come into like deep listening and full attention. Now, the trick of an alchemy pot, if you're going to use this in your relationship, is that if I'm letting go of something like my anger or whatever was triggered, whatever came up, uh, I'm not shooting it across and throwing up on Lizzy. Getting it into the pot. Getting it into the pot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It goes in the pot. Yeah. You have to get it in the pot. Otherwise, in the pot. in the the soil maker is also a great tool we've used for the alchemy pot because it's like we'll literally together and this isn't even about even what's happening between us but together we have a ritual of like going outside giving our food scraps to the earth writing down what I'm letting go of saying what I'm grateful for and writing down what I'm creating and putting that in the soil maker and I think that ritual with the food scrap with the food scrap I I think that ritual that we do together and engage in together also creates a healthy habit because we're constantly in the process of our own personal transformation and then transformation in our relationship. And I'd say more than anything in our relationship, we actually support each other through our own inner transformations because mostly anything that ever comes up between us has nothing to do with what's actually between us because you know it's often past traumas that create triggers anyway, right? And so if it's historical or if it's hysterical, it's historical. Exactly. And I feel like a habit of a really good partner is partnership is is you know that. And so it's like there's a habit of um ownership. Ownership, self- responsibility. Yeah. Which then we'll go into to values. But other habits I think would be time for just like pure connection, time for listening, going on walks. Going on walks. Yeah. Time for like even for us like we work together, but also time that's not working, you know, which often turns into work. But um there's there's also a habit of like taking care of your own self stuff and stealth. Yeah, taking care of your own self. I think a habit that whether or not you do business with your partner, having something that you create together, I think is a really important habit for a healthy relationship. Even if it's like art or it could be anything, a meal like something that you guys create together I think makes um a really healthy habit and a really bonding thing. Adventures, natures, new skills like new experiences. Um learning something new. Yeah. Um yeah, the habit could also just yeah I think you know spending the time to communicate and and to create together. Um any any other habits? There's so many but let's go into some values. Okay. So some of the values um like we said earlier is valuing uh ownership, valuing self- responsibility, valuing responsibility. Yeah. valuing um yourself and then also valuing the other person I feel like is a huge one. Like well the trick on that I think is like you can only value someone as much as you value yourself. Totally. Exactly. So it's like fully love someone as much as you love yourself and you can only trust someone as much as you trust yourself. Totally. So yeah, having a value of trust and then having a value of love, having a value of play, having a value of joy, having a value of growth. I'd say it's one of like a huge value we have. You don't value grow or one if aligned values is a is Yeah. Whatever your values are, there's no, you know, in in any of this, you have to find your own alignment. But especially values, I'd say aligned values as well is like totally as long as your values align with your partners, you're going to have a better opportunity for more coherence. If you guys have completely different values, stand together. You'll stand together. Yeah. Two trees stand together. Totally. Their values are aligned because the values is the trunk. That's what's holding up tree. Yeah. And that was something for us it really early on. I remember learning like oh our values are very aligned like to a very precise level. So we didn't have much work to rewrite those values in any way. But you can but it does work a lot better when you hold very similar values. Yeah. If especially if you happen to and and and I think the point here is have the conversations earlier rather than later. very earlier, especially about values. I'd say that's a starting conversation. It's like what do you value? Yeah. Write them down separate. Yeah. And then bring them together and go like see what they are because you know if you're valuing comfort and you want to and avoidance and the unhealthy thing, you might not be totally transparent about what you actually value. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. and and it allows you to look at it and and find someone who matches you wherever you're at. And um and then beliefs. So it's like beliefs in a healthy relationship I feel like is like I believe I'm worthy. I believe I'm enough. I believe uh I'm worthy of love. I believe that if I if I nurture myself, I'm nurturing the relationship. Yeah. Like that that is integral to like if I cuz the opposite is is true too. If I if I ignore myself, I actually take from the relationship. Yeah. And um I believe in healthy relationship. I believe in peaceful relationship. I believe in harmonious relationship. Like I believe I'm worthy of a loving relationship. I'm worthy of a loving relationship. Yeah. That I that I deserve to be happy. Yeah. And that I deserve to um be in love. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that is That's something I had to grow into. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's something I had to make a soil about. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Like, you know, to to cuz some of the roots were I had a lot of beliefs, you know, personally that that that that made their way up to the fruit. And um you know it's it's that's why it's so important to be making soil to like to to to constantly be taking all those little bits and bobs and putting them in a pot. Yeah. Because um then the roots are the first thing to to receive that and take that in the beliefs and that's how you change your beliefs. Yeah. Absolutely. Because when you believe in love and believe you can receive love then yeah the fruit of not believing that might be like saying something harmful and then like that's but when you to self-destruct the relationship but when you believe the love is there then you know naturally it's going to and I'll say this too there's there's a bit of a hierarchy. Yeah. They all work together. Yeah. But there is a bit of a hierarchy on like what is important and uh I think it's the most important is the the lowest level. Yeah. The soil is the soil. Yeah. So let's get down there. Yes. But I just as we go up from the soil and into the roots, you know, like if you have unhealthy beliefs, your trunk, your branches, your leaves, your flowers, and your fruit are all going to reflect that. Yeah. It is the first line of the tree. It's the It's the It's the Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Being able to If the roots are rotten, the tree will die. And And another example of this, you know, relating it to a tree is when a tree grows in a pot and it doesn't have the space to really grow, uh, the roots go out to the edges and then they start to turn. Wow. And then when they turn um they'll start to harden. And as they harden if it'll keep spinning around. So then when you transplant it into the you know the street um it'll grow to a full adult. Yeah. Um, and I think I've said this before, but you know, it'll grow to a full adult and when a hard wind blows it, it'll just fall over and you won't even know, you know, but eventually you see like, wow, the environment that created those beliefs Yeah. created a spiral effect that um just like a person when we don't have the space to to really grow and be ourselves, if we get if we have sort of a soil that creates a um a belief structure that is limited and we start to harden those beliefs. Totally. They are a lot harder to unravel especially in a tree. Thankfully, we are human. Mhm. And our roots walk on the ground. Yeah. And we can walk out into a new soil. Exactly. Good. Trees cannot. Right. But as humans, we we can walk into a new soil and create a new soil. Yeah. And since we're here, I just want to zoom in on a on another special little part of the tree. Yeah. Which is the in between the roots and the trunk. Yeah. Is The roots are underground. The trunk is above ground. Yeah. The reason why that's so important is because it's like that is the that is where it flips and that is the most sensitive part of a tree. And I think it's the most sensitive part of a human too where your beliefs and your values are. That is a really sensitive thing. And if your beliefs don't align with your values, Trigger City, how are you going to really have energy flowing throughout the tree? Yeah. Um, and in a in a tree, that part of the tree that the part where the where the trunk meets the roots is called the hypocodal. And if you cover it, it will kill the tree. M so if if the if you suffocate that area of where the where the beliefs meet the values if you just try to suffocate it will be a slow death. Wow. And um I it's just so relevant to you know if we suppress our you know values and our with our beliefs or with our we suppress our beliefs with our values whatever it is if there's discord there um it's it will behoove you to take a look at that. Yeah. And so like looking at being able to like the way I perceive that and how we can apply it here. It's like if we're able to then look at our beliefs and rewrite our beliefs to be something healthy so that we're not suppressing and hiding our beliefs and trying to stand in our values that don't line up with our beliefs because we're unwilling to look at them. So then we push them down into a closet and we're not creating the life we want because we're not looking at the root. And our root beliefs and our values are like integrity and love and peace and connection. And our beliefs are like I'm not worthy. I can't have that. I'm scared. And then that's that's covered up. And so that will lead to a slow d slow death. And so when we can then look at it and not cover it up and then rewrite it, then that then those beliefs have space to grow, to expand, to reach further into the ground. Yeah. And then and flow more energy. Flow more energy. And if you look at how the energy flows in a tree in the roots, all of the water is on the inside. So basically you have a a root and it's like a if you were to cut it in in half you would see wood and then in the middle uh in the very center would be where the water is. Mhm. Now when you take a cross-section of a trunk it's the opposite. Yeah. The water is actually on the outside. And so where the underlevel the belief meet the values is where it has to split and go to the outside and wear it on the outside. Yep. Exactly. Cuz that's what's seen on the outside. The beliefs are below the surface often and and they're on the inside. And they're on the inside. Yeah. Exactly. And so now let's go and talk about the what a soil looks like in a healthy relationship. Yeah. What does a soil look like? Well, I think the, you know, the culture is one of respect. Yeah. The culture is like, uh, you know, you you you see that modeled Yeah. in maybe the relationships you grew up seeing or in the relationships of your peers. Yeah. Respect social groups. Like people are in healthy relationships and they respect each other. and all the metrics that we set for the healthy relationship, all the results are mirrored in all the other relationships you're hanging out with. Yeah. So, you're in a healthy relationship and like I'd say for us like we have a lot of people in healthy relationships around us and then like long-standing marriages and like that that I believe contributes a lot to a healthy healthy soil is like the kinds of Yeah. relationships around us. Totally. healthy community around us. Like I'd say we have a very healthy community around us, especially with our swim club. It's like loving and I think that makes a big difference. Um what else? Yeah, I think uh you know in the in the culture um like the the media that is being consumed. That's very Yeah. Yeah. like uh it reflects all those values, you know, of respect and integrity and and by golly, it is hard to find it is, you know what I mean, on in movies and stuff like that. So, it's mostly, you know, there's not a lot. Yeah. Maybe maybe I just gravitated towards the stuff that there's there's more these there's more than I think more these days. Absolutely. There really is. And it does contribute so much to the soil. Like what you're watching, like if we're watching shows that have people who are in healthy unhealthy relationships and hurting each other and being mean to each other and violence at each other, like on some level that's imprinting into ourselves. Totally. And then on some level, some part of us is repeating that. And and um it's something to be so mindful of. Like if you care at all about what you eat in a day, that level of precision applied to what you're consuming in media because those are the kinds of thought forms that then you're thinking and then that's being projected into the soil of your relationship. And actually there's a process of like cleansing out all the media from life. If you catch yourself like thinking thoughts from movies a lot or from songs a lot, it's might that are lower vibration or way of being than you want to personally be. It might be your consciousness inviting you to release those things so that you can actually make space for more healthy thought forms. And then when those are in the culture internally then that will be reflected even through like aligning to frequencies like you know we wa we watch a lot of like things that I like to watch and we like to watch a lot of things that are expansive. I'm like, okay, if I'm growing while I'm watching this, like that's making me grow and doing internal work within myself and also within clients, seeing the gosh, when I did a well, when I did a 10day silent meditation and I saw the programming in my brain from like media and I just like watched it all purge out out of my brain and it was just like boom boom and I felt these like blocks of like they were like black blocks in my brain of just energy and weight and density and heaviness and I just like got to witness all of these densities releasing from my brain and now I'm at the point where if I watch anything I'm aware immediately of where that imprinted in me and I can track the thought that I have the next day to the thing that I watched And it's like it's like the hyper awareness is so turned on to where like I I have to pay extra attention. But that was happening before. I just wasn't aware of it. But once you become aware of it, there's almost like a responsibility. It becomes way more intense. Yeah. Cuz Yeah. And it was happening before. It was just on a subconscious level and then coming up to the top and manifesting in unhealthy relationships and an unhealthy life and dissatisfaction and like it was affecting the whole tree. Right. Well, and I think in the in that example, you know, like once you realize that connection, you believe that connection to be true. Yeah. And so now in your belief system is if I put in, you know, bad, I get bad reflected out. Yeah. Well, and so you see it. Yeah. More of it in your perception as well as it like be that's why it becomes more energetically like obvious. You become more you become more aware of it but you can cater your beliefs as well at the same time. And I try to do this too is like I don't villainize the content within myself. Like if I'm going to watch it, I I do try to like neutrally observe it. But I am aware. It's like if you're going to put a ton of like false fertilizer in a soil, like at a certain point there's an awareness of like this might have an effect, you know? So it's like not being um naive to just something that's basic physics. Mhm. But at the same time, I believe we have an energetic ability to stand so much in our sovereignty and our self and our soul that we could take in anything and not be affected if you're really in your center and in your power. If that's your belief. If that's your belief. Yeah. And that's the power of the roots. Totally. And uh you know there's a quote that reminded me of what you were talking about you know talking Han um Tiknathhan Tikna Tiknahan um and he says that you know everything that we consume aims to either heal us or poison us. Yeah. And it's not just the food we eat but it's the conversations we listen to. It's the uh conversations we engage in. Yeah. It's the media we It's the stuff we we we hear, we taste, we smell, we um it's it's everything that comes in is consumption. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I just love that it either aims to heal you or poison you. Yeah, it does. I got to a point with media where I would if I was watching something and I would notice I was in anxiety watching it and some part of me was then trying to escape by watching it. Like something in my system shut down where it stopped letting me be able to do that because I just couldn't even enjoy it anymore because I became aware of what I was doing. So then like the enjoyment was gone because the awareness was there. But what was really cool in that is then like I got to spend a couple years of just like not consuming anything violent or like and I got to just cleanse that out of my brain and out of my being. And I went from having like violent dreams to like peaceful and loving dreams. I didn't have a violent dream that I remember for years cuz I wasn't even feeding myself that. So like the thought forms were like like it wasn't even there, you know, they started dating me and watch this. Let's watch this. Yeah. And you know, I' I've really become aware of that. Uh and I'm grateful that how much you've you've illuminated that for me and made it really obvious. You know, it's like um of course I'm consuming so much media that is uh you know anyway, we get so in the soil. Yeah. Uh yeah, but the the soil allows space for all of that. It allows space for like the love and the growth and like the not you know it's it's all okay somehow in that soil and then when it's all okay then naturally that compost becomes something beautiful. So then it's like, okay, cool. Like, let's let's find this and let's explore and let's discover like what this soil can be or let's like find the places where there's old parts of us and let them compost into something beautiful and like um and that's part of the soil. It's like not an expectation of coming to a relationship perfectly pure and cleansed and enlightened being, Daily Alchemy Pot ritual but like coming to a relationship as a real whole human who has a lot going on and parts but can be held in love through all of it. Yeah. And uh the going to the trunk of a healthy relationship too, just popping in for real quick, the the acceptance Acceptance of the whole person. Yeah. Acceptance of the whole person. Yeah. Because each of us brings thousands of energy threads and historical experiences and million like infinite uh amounts of perceptions, experiences like historical like uh just beliefs and and and all of these things that we bring to the table right here. And so the first step uh is of course examining your whole self. Mhm. And looking at can I accept my whole self because that's the that's about the level of acceptance you'll get in the relationship. Yeah. Exactly. And I think that's the secret to even like Yeah. building a a true relationship and longevity in a relationship is being accept being able to accept your whole self and then being able to accept the whole self of another because it's like I think where people then leave relationships after honeymoon phases is because they get to the whole self and the parts of themselves that they haven't accepted and then it's like nope don't want to face that like let's destruct and and I think in like the full acceptance it's like there's um there's an allowance to grace a grace there yeah I feel like that and that comes into the soil too where there's a a grace there's a grace for for the journey of life yeah like it's a little messy But it's me and there's love there and like okay great what's the you know there's there's a fun in this challenge of life it's it's it's yeah it kind of goes back to like per perfection you know and like what that word means the wholeness the completeness that the etmology of the word actually means that uh it's yeah when you when you're perceiving someone's It's wholeness. Yeah. And you're perceiving someone's perfection in in the wholeness of who they are in the completeness. They're already totally they're already done. It's not a work in progress. They're full. It is a work in progress. But it's not your work. It's an evolution. And you know, that's why I love abstract art so much. Like I love creating it. It's my favorite kind of art to create because it feels like the deepest acceptance of the wholeness. It feels like the deepest acceptance of like the raw, wild, messy, but then if you actually look close at an abstract painting, it's the most precise thing in the world. And I think it more accurately captures creation because creation has all these threads in the seen and the unseen. And when you can really connect with the unseen energies that float behind everything and the scene, it's like this beautiful, wild, perfectly imperfect wholeness. And just like an abstract painting, there's always more you can add to it. Like I know I do paintings and then I'll cover them up and then a whole new painting comes through and like it's got all these layers and it's wild and it's colorful and it's free and it's like to me it's life in its fullest expression and like to me that's like such a reflection of accepting all of it and loving all of it and finding beauty in all of it. finding beauty in something that is so maybe even could be perceived as messy or be perceived as outside the lines or not be you know by this whatever standard exists in one's mind and um that freedom I just feel like is perfection and to bring that into life and how you hold all of it it's like it all is perfect. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And okay, so I just want to one last example of the tree of transformation and how we can apply it to u the world is you know let's look at the climate tree of transformation. Let's look at the climate tree. Let's look at the climate tree. Yeah. Like the climate world. Yes. Yeah. be be well. Yeah, let's talk about it. You know what's the fruit? And honestly, where we're at, we have some results that aren't so sweet, like excess of carbon. We've got a lot of pollution. We've got a lot of struggling animals in the oceans and all over the world and like extinction. Animals going extinct. We got a lot of, you know, things that are going on that um not ideal going on. Yeah. Um the intention I think intentions are usually pretty good. The flowers are still blooming and they're beautiful and they're always beautiful and we all want to live in a world that's beautiful and lush and rich. Yeah. And yet we've got some perceptions. Yeah. And I'd say also the intentions are like we want to live in a beautiful world, which we'll get to, but that doesn't always mean a well-being world, you know? It's like we want it to be pretty. We want it to be pretty. Like if you go to a neighborhood and the trees are perfectly groomed, but like what's actually happening on a health ecosystem level? It's it's like uh Marcus Aurelius has a quote of like you're you're you're coming to the point where you're appreciating the perfection in the foam in the mouth of the wild boar, you know, like that every single part of it is beautiful because it's part of the whole. Yeah. Exactly. And so the intention in that and that even in the perception which I love in when we go into like the soil maker and like it's deepened my perception and intention of seeing beauty in the worms and the bugs and like oh my god it's gorgeous like beautiful. Every single bug in there is just like bugs are insanely like profoundly colorful and alive and like clearly been with you as my partner. I know, but like this makes a lot of sense. But they're so like rich and they they're like they're feeding so much and they're giving so much and they're like wo and so to see beauty in a different way. I think that's part of the perception which which I think there's an innate desire within all of us for like beauty. It's just how we're perceiving what beauty even is. Totally. It has a deeper layer to it. Yeah. Yeah. It's that and that's um it's part of the values, part of the beliefs, right? That that that again the roots and the and the leaves have a lot in common. Yeah. Yeah. Um but but but yeah, so the perceptions is another perception is that and this is sort of like a belief, but there's not enough to go around. not enough to go around. Yeah. You know, uh that that we're that we're running out that it's a race. Yeah. There's like this interesting space race energy in the in the climate space of like there's it's like we got to be the savior cuz there's something that needs to be saved. Totally. Totally. And there is is. But but let's go a little deeper. Let's go a little deeper because yeah, the the the perception is that uh you know pretty soon here all the animals are going to be extinct and we're going to be extinct and life on the planet's going to just just wipe out. That's the perception, right? That's the perception that's being used again and again we see it totally you know because we believe that that is see see how the tree the tree works together it's not so linear but we kind of hop around the deeper you go with it cuz you say a perception then you'll realize oh that's associated with this belief and so on and so forth. Exactly. So we're starting to really use the tree. Yeah. Um cuz really it's a web and in better word activate the tree. We're activating the tree of transformation. We're not using it. We're not consuming taking it and extracting it. We're not looking at trees as just woods. We're looking at trees as a tree. As a tree. Yeah. It's not just for the resources it has inside of it. It is a tree and it is to billions. Yeah. And it is alive and that goes into the perceptions and the intentions. The intentions could be for beauty or the perception of a tree could be like beautiful or just like the woods or out there in nature or the perception of a tree could be like that's our family, right? That's our that's our family. They're alive. They're our ancestors. They're our relatives. There are teachers. I see trees as friends. I see, you know what I mean? Like, we see the connection. We perceive the connection everywhere. I don't know about you, but when I go to the forest, that's like the best nightclub of all time. I'm like, my friends are here. Like, let's get into the habits. So, in the um you know, world where we have all these this fruit. Yeah. So the habits are the habits are making dumping in the rivers, making a ton of plastic. Yeah. Lots of landfills. All the food scraps are going to the landfill creating pollution instead of going into little soil makers or just into the land itself. Fast fashion and like Yeah. and and and and just to reiterate the difference between a landfill and compost. They're both ending up in the land, but landfill is is food mixed with plastic and it doesn't have a lot of air, so it creates methane and it creates pollution. When you just put just food scraps in the ground and you also have um you know a 50/50 ratio of brown to green, you create airflow. Uh, and brown to green, by the way, is like wood and food scraps. So, like the green stuff and then the brown stuff is the wood stuff. So, um, when you have both of that in the land, it regenerates the land. When you just have the green and plastic, it pollutes the land. So, just uh, wanted to wanted to brush that. That's one of the habits we have. You know, in LA, we we have 4,000 tons every day made that goes to the landfill. And that can all be distributed into backyards and we would change the entire world if every city started doing that. Yeah. So that's yeah habits are that's a bad habit using land cut that branch habits are a lot of like car pollution you know habits are garbages food waste oh disposable everything everything's disposable yeah people are disposable are dispos products are disposable totally excellent we just like it just use and and so that's yeah wow there was a lot in saying using the tree of transformation. I know. So, I really want to change that to activating. We're activating the tree of transformation. You are changing it right now cuz we are activating the tree of transformation. And and that's part of, you know, the the the current habits of using an extraction and like what can I get? What can I get? What can I get? Well, and it's in our language. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's one of the biggest habits is using a language of um of violence and um colonization. There's so much of the we're going to have to do a whole episode on that one. The language. So that's another habit. We will dive deeper at some point. Um values. Values. What do we value? So I think again it's like convenience, convenience, ease, comfort, um um you know uh we we value nice things but not even but nice as in like perception of others. I'd say in this culture we value approval. Approval. So we're willing to like spend a lot of money on things and throw them away. Wear something once. Are you kidding me? wear something once. Anyone out there? Come on. Um, unless it's a paper bag. Wait. Yeah, we love paper bags. We're going We're going to, you know, get some paper bags because like Yeah. Go ahead. No. No. That Go ahead. Yeah. But, um, yeah. So, yeah, those are the those are the values. Those are the values. Yeah. That's the trunk that's holding up. Yep. Yeah. That's that's that's getting put into the fruit. And I think the beliefs is like there's not enough to go around. Um yeah, the beliefs is there's not enough to go around and if I don't do it, somebody else will. So we better just like take take take. And there's a scarcity belief which also goes into the habit of like constantly using scarcity to sell to market things. Like there's there's scarcity imprinted everywhere. Closing reflection & action invitation Oh, habits. The value is in its scarcity. So we value scarcity. So we not only believe in scarcity, we value it. Those are aligned. Right. Exactly. So like this I got the whole tree. Best of the best and the really rare thing that you can't find anywhere else. Like we value that. Yeah. We value that. Which I would challenge would say if you're valuing that, you just haven't found the value of how rare and scarce you are within yourself. Um so yeah and then the belief is uh that you know that we're running out you know like like soil is such a renewable resource that affects everything and makes everything grow and regenerate and for some reason we're not making it. There's a belief that we're running out. Yeah. Which is perpetuated through the climate narrative even which is changing the whole trajectory of the path and um you know and um uh there's there's a there's a belief that we are um we're going to run out disconnected from nature that we're disconnected from nature that's maybe the biggest one it's probably the biggest one that we're separate that's probably the deepest belief that is uh it's like really at the crux it's like treating museum like or treating the earth like a museum you know the relationship to nature it's like we go into nature and we look at it like a museum like we've like commoditized and commodified nature how how come like stars that we you know like like musicians and legends and stuff It's like we value them more when they're dead. Oh, totally. Than when they're alive. Totally. What is that about? I mean, even look at like the common funeral is like you say all these nice things about someone who's dead instead of saying when they're alive to them when they're alive where they can enjoy where you can enjoy the presence of the soul in that body. Totally. Cuz you value like missing something or searching for something. Again, the belief in the scarcity. The scarcity. Yeah. The like, now that I don't have it, I now that they're gone, they're becoming a legend, you know, like, oh, let me pay attention now that they're Yeah, totally. Um, rather than the value of like the presents. I think there's such a value also of the future in the past rather than like when the when you value the present as the highest priority always then I feel like the relationship to everything changes but if there's such a value on the future or such a value on the past then that can affect if the belief is then fear-based then you're fear-based projecting into the future and then you're not even you're like I'm scared of climate but then you're drinking plastic bottles all day and throwing your food in the garbage and like all these things that are normal and like most all of us do and myself included and it's just like oh my gosh no wonder well it's just a lot of discord because even if you care and a lot of people do I think most people care on they care about something they care about their their family their home their what you know it doesn't necessarily need to fit the I have the recycled thing, you know, it's like it's still plastic, but there's a lot of story and script around what it looks like to care. Yeah. And so then there's like a belief in the or value in the perception of being a caring person of being a caring person versus the actual caring. It's like optics in business. Like if you're part of a business and you guys are doing something good just because you want to look good, I would invite forward like where where come from? Where's the come from? And like where's the actual care there? And like like I challenge anyone out there who's in that situation or if you're in a work culture that's like just valuing optics over truly caring. Like I challenge you to be a voice of truth there and a light there and bringing people back to the love of like what if we actually did care? We're spending all this money and time on marketing campaigns. Like what if we actually do? Yeah. But like what if we actually did? What might we do differently? And and if you're here listening at this point in the podcast, I guarantee you a big part of yourself cares. Yes. And Yeah. And Yeah. Go ahead. Sorry. And so like I invite all of us to be a steward of that and to shine light into these places that we're talking about because the intention here is not to just call them out and shame them, but it's to be voices in these spaces and to bring light there and ask these questions to present opportunities to shift our culture, to shift our world. And so that's the invitation. Yeah. Here. And uh to feedback on that, but also like direct where that energy goes a little bit. It's like it's not necessarily going around and going like and pointing to totally the different things. It's actually reflecting that back inside. Yes. And going like where in me Yes. am I valuing the perception? Where in me am I perpetuating the habit of you know disposability? Yeah. Or uh where in me is the rotten fruit of extinction? And what like what parts of me are dying? What parts of me are being polluted? What parts of me? It's all within. It's all within. It's all within. and and the and the change that happens is from the inside out. It starts on the inside and it starts I I completely agree in looking at all of these layers in the world reflecting the mirror back to oursel. Where am I disconnected? Where am I valuing the beauty of something versus the well-being of something? Where am I valuing, you know, what I'm perceived by versus like what I'm actually doing? where am I valuing? You know, all of these things. I'm sure all of us listening can find places within ourselves that are maybe playing that out. And maybe it's micro and tiny, but I completely agree. When we start here and we change our tree and then we reflect that out, then we become a loving soil for these deeper conversations and these deeper invitations that are reflected in our world. Because then I say like from that place of an internally cultivated beingness and tree then there's the invitation to take action in our world to actually change it and action is the language of the universe. So it's like both start within and cultivate there but then if you are in a situation where you want to call something forward speak to it use your beautiful voice and like bring light there because you're seeing a perception but it can be done in love. It can be done from a holistically healed place rather than a condemning place. So perceptions Yeah. And voice is is interesting because your your perception is the fifth. Yeah. Um layer and your voice is the fifth chakra. It's the fifth chakra. Yeah. Cuz then using your voice because it's like also I believe each individual when you're connected to yourself and your soul, you have a unique perception that is meant to be heard or even experienced. And maybe it's meant to be heard through your voice. Maybe it's meant to be heard through an art form or a way that you make food or a way that you create clothing. Like, but your unique perception has value. And so to withhold that is to withhold like from the ecosystem. And so these deeper conversations like there is a strong invitation to bring your innate nature perception whatever that is forward and like that I feel like is also a huge part of healing our climate and Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree. I would agree. And the soil, you know, is is is the ecosystem. Yeah. um it is the birds and the bees and all the other organisms, the the fungi that connect the trees to each other. Um that's all part of the soil. That's all part of the culture which I'd say is is currently disconnection and isolated trees but in a healthy climate soil. They're connected. They're connected. Yeah. If you look at trees in like an orchard, a conventional farm Yeah. Uh it's sort of like an army of dead trees that uh are disconnected because there's fungicide. Wow. Being sprayed on the soil. The soil is very dry. It's usually not covered with mulch. Mhm. There's not um a high bacteration of fungi in the soil because mulch that's made of wood chips feeds the fungi that creates a microisal network that connects the trees. So when you don't have that and you're spraying fungicide, you don't have the fungus that is connecting the trees. So So you're disconnected. It's very orderly and we're using it to extract resources from it, but um we believe that we're better than it, that it's there to serve us. Yeah. And I think that if we can humble ourselves a little bit. Yeah. And look at our connection to this world and see that it is us. Mhm. We would relate to it as an equal playing field that the tree has a soul living in it just like I have my soul living in me. Mhm. We just happen to be different organisms right now. But there's still a little piece of soul in them and this piece of soul in me. Cuz if you think about all of the life on the planet is just recycled matter. Yeah. And so every part of me and every part of you has is connected to every organism that's living now and has ever lived because all of the organisms on this planet have been eaten and consumed and recycled and composted over and over the billions of years of evolution on this planet. Um, so that means that every one of us, you know, a little piece of my pinky and a little piece of your knee, um, probably shared a body, whether that be a worm or a lizard or a tree, uh, at some point. Yeah. And probably multiple times. Um, they say that our water that we drink is, uh, you know, has been peed out by the dinosaurs. Yeah, absolutely. The very same water. Yeah. So, um so yeah, that's that's that's kind of there's so when there's connection there. Yeah. That's again the crux of the problem is the disconnection. Disconnection. Yeah. Um in the in the root structure and in the soil is then that's that's sort of mirrored out. We're all looking at each other like we're different when we're so the same. We're so the same. Um, and another illustration of like how similar we are is is is go down to the lowest organism on the planet, the bacteria and the fungi. And as you make your way up, start counting the similarities that us humans have with those organisms. As you go up the trophic levels, as you go up from, you know, bugs have legs and arms and eyes, you know, and then you get up to, you know, uh, lizards and they have organs and birds, you know, they have voices and mammals have like all the same organs and all the same like nervous system and reproductive systems. And then you get up to monkeys and it's like so close, it's unbelievable. And then we get to humans and we're just the exactly the same that we spend all of our time focusing on the difference. Focusing on how we're different and how we're separate and how we're disconnected. And that has to do with our belief system that then ripples through the entire tree of society and creates more of it, creates that fruit. So that's that's one way we can look at the tree of transformation and actually become aware of the things that we want to change and get to the goals that we want to get to. Yeah. Exactly. Cuz when you when you can just look at it and then bring that awareness there, the awareness once the awareness is there, I feel like we're actually no longer stuck. When you have the awareness of a belief that you're holding on to and and you truly become aware of it, the step between you shifting it and not is really just your choice at that point because you're not actually stuck in it. You're just choosing to subscribe to it. And so the awareness, I think, is the first step. Mhm. And so really being able to take an honest evaluation and sit with something like this tree of transformation and and do an audit of yourself and of your life and of your beingness and an very honest audit. And from there then you have the opportunity to transform because it is a tree of transformation. So it's a it's a tree of of alchemy. It's a tree to then take these parts that are ready to evolve and alchemize them into something beautiful into the tree that you're becoming. And so we invite you to be with who you are now and then also who you are becoming and find micro ways to start making shifts now. And yeah, we're we're here. we've, you know, happy to answer any questions. Yeah, we have um on our website somewhere where you can write questions and then we'll answer them live on the podcast, especially around something like this, ask anything and we'll bring it into a future podcast. We also have groups uh that dive a little deeper, little pod groups where we can go through the tree of transformation and the come from uh and that's on our Patreon. Yeah. And and so hopefully this was helpful, insightful. Thank you so much for listening and giving your time, energy, and attention uh to be a part of our soil, to be a part of our community. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much. And we invite you to subscribe and share this with anyone you who may find this beneficial or you think may resonate. And we also, yeah, invite you to check out our Patreon and our our growing movement here at Alchemy Pot with our first soil maker, Alchemy Pot. We thank you, soil maker, for being an alchemical transformative container. And we thank all of you for your presence in your hearts and thanks for caring. Yeah. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you. Love you. Love you too. Welcome to alchemy pot. This is a journey of transformation. Explore the outer consciousness every generation. 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